what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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