I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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