Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
