Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
third nipple confirmed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
