he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
