I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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