didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
