Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
