I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
