have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
