Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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