oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
