Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
