where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
