Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
