suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
