The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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