Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
