the new term for farting is butt boxing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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