I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
