woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
