I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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