i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
