like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize