I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
