the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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