Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I will die if light touches me.

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(607): View more from New York

I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.

Fav 9 3239 1090
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(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(425): View more from Washington

He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.

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(518): View more from New York

I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

Fav 13 8563 1643
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(416): View more from Toronto

Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.

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