this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
