I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
