I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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