i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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