Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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