Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have aggressive nipples.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
