you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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