My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
either way he was missing a nipple.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Alive.
So much puke
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
