Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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