I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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