oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
