Don't you send me to vm
Me too!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
