when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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