I heard we made out
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
