that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
