Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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