Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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