Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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