So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize