I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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