There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
