Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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