I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
