So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Randomize
