im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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