he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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