Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
