I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
