I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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