I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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