Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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