At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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