What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my shit smells like andre
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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