Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
