I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Randomize