xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
