how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
