i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
