WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
