4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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