My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
where are my eyebrows?
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