what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
