Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i believe in u and ur pee
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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