six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize