he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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