The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
