Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
