dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
