You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
