my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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