I can tuck mytits in my pants
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
please come you make the beer taste better
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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