just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize