FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
